BATTLE OF THE BULGE

                                                                                                         BATTLE OF THE BULGE

Twenty years ago there was no Internet and no PSP’s, people walked more for leisure rather than exercise. Kids played real gully cricket rather than virtual street cricket; when the most popular games were “chuppan-chupai”,”pakdam-pakdai”, “land or water” or “tokkudu billa”.

When the best treats we had “orange goli”, popcorn,”kismibar”, a “cream roll” or “glucose biskuts” or a “goli soda”. We were not allowed to watch late night movies except on weekends that too with the entire family. Women ground flour in the stone mill and chutneys with a mortar and pestle and didn’t have the luxury of full time maids and kitchen processors. Men worked hard in the fields or any of their paternal business. Now most men and women have a cushy life cooling their derriere on a chair all day long, sipping cups of coffee and tucking into subway sandwiches.

I joined the gym four years ago when I had piled on oodles of weight and I was ashamed of my own size. I was always scrawnily thin but then continued medication piled on the kilos. It was with great trepidation that I entered the gym and with the negative emotion of not losing any weight as I had almost given up on myself. But then within 3 months it was my niece’s wedding and I set small time goal and was lighter by 6 kgs by then. This was a great motivation for me and without a trainer within the next 12 months I lost 15 kgs without dieting. I felt so light on my feet and strutted around in all the clothes I wasn’t fitting into these past years. I thought I had achieved my goal and became complacent with life and with the gym. I have put on weight again these past few months due to minor accidents and age maybe and the battle of the bulge is again ON. It never ends actually..it’s a continued struggle.

I always keep to myself in the gym. Do my stuff and am out. One day I paused and looked around to watch my fellow gymmers. Each one was there with the same purpose-losing weight but the reasons for being there are varied.

There are –Males

1.    The Body builder types who give the other men a real complex about their bodies.

2.    The pot-bellied businessman who is huffing and puffing to get rid of his signature tummy.

3.     The young hero who wants to be a macho man to impress the girls

4.     The teenage guy trying to ape his celluloid hero.

5.     The aging middle aged man trying to hold on to his youth by fighting the settling flab

6.    The aged Uncles who are fit but want to keep looking and feeling fit.

7.    Men who are there just because their friends are at the gym and it is fashionable to be seen there

8.    Men who come all dressed in the latest Reebok, Nike, and Adidas gear but dunno how to pronounce the names. They are loud and showy, throwing their weight around, ordering the trainers to hold their water bottle, napkins and iPhones

9.    Then there are those who come just to ogle at the women and make a general nuisance of themselves.

10.  There is this poor guy who is abnormally obese and can barely fit into the machines but is still trying to be regular and lose weight.

11. The gadget show-offs who step onto the cardio machines with theirlatest i-Pods or funky earphones

12. The health freaks who burn 600 to 800 calories on the treadmill and cross trainer and hardly give the others a chance to get onto the machines.

13. Frowning husbands who are tossed out of bed and pushed out of the house by wives who are smart and want the same from their partners.

There are

1.    Ladies who have put on weight after having their babies.

2.    Girls who are a little fat and want to get to a normal size to ensnare the perfect match.

3.    Girls who are real thin but still obsessed by the size zero that Kareena endorses

4.    A really thin lady and a mother of a 5 year old trying to PUT ON weight for a change.

5.    Really obese aunties who never thought twice before tucking into the nth pakoda or desi ghee paranthas and now forced by the doc to sweat it out

6.    Girls with an hour glass figure giving the others a huge complex (me)

7.    Homemakers who finish all their chores and come to the gym at 11am for some nice juicy gossip and a slow workout

8.    Working women leading a sedentary life at office come to burn up all those pent up calories.

9.    Young teenage girls who are fed on butter and cheese and fast food by their loving moms and now realize that its piling on.

10. he shy ladies who walk in the first day in a salwar kameez and dupatta and by the end of the week you see them in capris, ankle socks and a short tee

11. The young lassies that get the chance to feast their eyes on hunks in the gym.

12. The serious fanatic ladies who workout as if there is no tomorrow and compete with the guys in the number of calories burnt.

There are those men and women too who come to the gym for a workout but never take the stairs to the second floor.They wait for the elevator and enter the gym and leave it too with their powdered noses intact! I can’t help but smile to myself.

All these and more dedicated body worshippers can be found in any gym these days. If only the good old days were back and there was no need to fight the battle of the bulge ever. But I believe that “Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable.”

Well if weight is a number then mine is unlisted!!


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11 Comments Add yours

  1. Rohit says:

    And than there are people like me 😉 who dont actually need any exercise and walk up the flight of stairs 4 floors everyday twice in the name of only exercise – even after having an elevator in the building.
    Totally loved it and agree to most of it.

    Like

    1. Yes Rohit..u r one of the blessed few who dont have to fight 🙂 Stay blessed

      Like

  2. Seema Joshi says:

    Couldnt have said it any better… Man, I dont even need to eat it… I look at it and it goes straight to my hips!!!:)))

    Like

    1. hahahahah…Thanq Seema…..i know the feeling ….i barely eat anything but i am just putting on weight…I dont even get to look at good food coz i hardly cook for myself or go out!

      Like

  3. Amit says:

    As I said, this is a ‘burning’ issue (pun intended!). The calories need to be burnt but the fat rules. I thoroughly agree with your begining. Click of the mouse and now touch it and its done kind of technology has made a lazy sloth out of the people. Out of 10 males of any age group, 9 have a paunch. People just look down , and wonder – “Oh! If only I could get rid of that bulge.” and move onto their regular junk food diet. Sauna bag and all that stuff you see on TV know people would rather tie a belt around their waist and expect it to do it for them rather than huff and puff at the Gym. How many people have the discipline to keep their bodies fit ? Hardly 1 out of 10. I cant comment about ladies. Delhi is full of females who move around in Jeans and Tees but their bodies look so uggghhh that… leave it! 🙂

    Like

    1. Amit burning the calories is the battle I am talking about.Yes men do have paunches and there r many fat women everywhere.If ur in a gym u would realise how many people are trying to sweat it out literally. People do wish that the fat would disappear by tying a belt around their waist and watching TV but then its a whole lifestyle change that will lead to even a cpl of pounds less on the weighing scale. But where there is a will there is surely a way!! So dont lose heart and keep fighting.

      Like

  4. Awesome.. not to forget tharki uncles watching fashion tv on the treadmill tv top 😀

    Like

    1. hahahaha…i didnt want to be so blase about it :p

      Like

  5. Nisheeth says:

    After reading this i was wondering that am i ever gonna get myself fit enough to wear the T-shirts my Girlfriend bought for me to wear…..best part is staying back in the gym to watch others doing silly stuff…

    Like

    1. Shake ur lazybones and get into shape….the tees will fit nicely only then….all talk and no action wont get u anywhere!!

      Like

  6. Nisheeth says:

    Ji anecdotesofmylife

    Like

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