A Solitary Reaper

The end of 2009 is around the corner.Nearly a decade into the 21st century!
Along with the time my emotions are also on a roller-coaster ride which never seems to stop.The ups have just been a few while the downs override.
Am still trying to come to terms with being on my own but when the kids come down its PAAAARRTTYYYY time.November came and went and i didn’t realise it as time flew when my son was visiting.He is a tall,handsome young man now and am really a proud mom.Sometimes I really wonder at the creator….dads may contribute their bit in conceiving a child but being a mother is another ball game altogether.
The umbilical cord is cut by the gynaec at birth but emotionally it can never be cut off i feel.You give birth…nurse them, nurture them…go through all the angst of growing up with them and then they are ready to fly the nest.
You can only watch them soar high into the sky and reach the goals they set for themselves.The distance only makes the heart grow fonder and the absence a permanent ache.I have always wanted them to follow their dreams and aspirations and lead the life they want to.I thought I was different from the rest of the pack and would not be the soppy mom clinging onto her offspring.But I am no different when it comes to missing them…am just like the billions of moms who worry whether their child has eaten or not, frets when she knows he/she is unwell.
When my daughter comes home, its like one long party….eating out, movies, shopping…doing all the girlie stuff together….(psst….she hated make-up a cpl of years ago) and now she wears yellow, red and orange nail paint!!
My son loves to just get into the feel of HOME…..when he was in college he said he missed home…when asked if he missed us he said…You are in the home so you are included in the missing part too 🙂 Cooking for him are one of life’s pleasurable activities for me….he always wants a new recipe, a new dish….and i cooked up many on my own and became a innovative cook thanks to him.
In Delhi last month the three of us were together after a long long time….My daughter was busy rushing to and fro from her college and rehearsals…she is a ball of dynamite….hyper all the time…We used to set out to shop and only after a single purchase he would steer us into a food joint.We had a wonderful time together and i wished it would never end….wishful thinking on my part.
He is like a huge teddy bear…..i was glad to see that he has not changed much but has changed for the better.He was always shy, deep into his books, soft spoken and so very wonderful with kids.He is still the same and now is a perfect gentleman for the ladies too!!
The day he was to leave there was frenzied shopping and a struggle to pack all the stuff into 2 suitcases. He was napping at midnight and i was watching him silently….the tears streaming down my face…..I know i cant tie him to my apron strings so i saw him off at the airport and when he hugged and kissed my forehead and said am gonna miss you too….I was overwhelmed and let him move away to the terminal with a smile.
The train ride home was the most solitary journey I have undertaken…just the thought of returning to an empty home sent chills down my spine.Its been a fortnight since but I am still coming to terms with being on my own again….looking forward to the next visit and the next rainbow in my life……and the saga continues

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